Love Hurts: The Love Duet Page 17

  Darth jumped from his seat and moved in close behind Deck, who was torn between looking at his newborn daughter and the woman whose life was fading right before our eyes.

  I don’t know why it caught my attention with all that was going on with Zoe, but I watched as Darth looked over Deck’s shoulder and stared at the baby in his arms with such… devotion, such love it overwhelmed me so much I had to look away.

  “Doctor her heart rate is dropping fast, too fast,” a nurse who was manning the monitors behind me called out in alarm.

  “She is losing too much blood, I can’t find the source or stop it. Call the OR. Stat!”

  Unbelievable fear strangled me, numbness crept into all of my limbs rendering me unable to move. Zoe lay on the bed, her hand limp in mine her eyes closed and she seemed lifeless.

  “Zoe! Zoe!” I screamed, pressing my face into her neck, feeling no pulse there.

  “Fuck no Zoe don’t you leave me. We haven’t had enough time.” Tears streamed from my eyes and onto her skin. Squeezing her hand, I got no response from her.

  In my fogged brain, I could hear a long monotone beeping from the monitor. I was suddenly pulled away from my wife and two men in scrubs appeared with a machine on wheels, two white paddles in one of their hands.

  I watched in complete horror as my wife’s lifeless body flopped each time they pressed the paddles to her chest with a charge of electricity.

  Three times.

  Three shocks to her body and… nothing. She stayed limp and still, her eyes closed, her lashes the only colour against the paleness of her cheeks.

  My legs gave out and I stumbled back falling against the table that held the monitor, the noise that told me the love of my life was dead the only sound I could hear.

  “No heartbeat doctor, would you like to call it?”

  Disbelief, anger and outrage flowed through me when the doctor sighed and looked up at the clock above the door.

  “Death occurred at two fifty-four a.m.”

  “No!” I roared.

  “She can’t be. Do something else,” I screamed looking all the around the room at the people just standing there with sad looks on their faces.

  “Jason, mate,” Deck said, his arms holding the precious bundle of our—his daughter. She wasn’t mine anymore, the one link I had to her being my child was gone, dead. I was just the uncle, not a father not a husband. Everything I ever wanted in this life was gone.

  Deck had it all again. He had a piece of Zoe, of my wife to have and cherish for the rest of his life and me?

  All I had was one month short of a year with my Nymph and heavy guilt.

  “I didn’t tell her I loved her, I didn’t get to tell her that she meant more to me than anything in my life,” I mumbled numbly.

  “She knew Jay, I promise you she knew.”

  I didn’t want to hear anything Deck had to say. Hatred built up while I watched with envy as he rocked the pink blanketed bundle gently back and forth.

  That should be me; I should be the one to holding her, carrying her for the first time and placing her gently in her mother’s arms.

  But that was never going to happen, Zoe would never get to hold her baby or see her smile and hear her laugh.

  “Well you win again brother, you get it all and I get what I deserve,” I spat at him, not bothering to wipe away the tears or the snot from my face.

  “Jason, you’ve got no right to—” Darth started to say but Deck cut him off with a curt nod.

  “Let him go brother. Let him go.”

  Deck stared at me, not with hatred but with sadness and pity as he walked slowly towards me.

  “Here mate, hold her,” Deck said quietly, awkwardly inching his arms close to mine.

  My breath hitched in my throat when the baby’s tiny face came into view. Her tiny nose was all Zoe, her pouty lips also belonging to her mother.

  “My god she is perfect,” I whispered in awe, taking in every feature, seeing how much she looked like her father… and me.

  “Hold her Jason, she is yours too.”

  No, she wasn’t, she belonged to Deck. Only because of coincidence and cruel fate would the baby have my last name too.

  I looked over at Zoe, dead, a sheet now covering the lower part of her body leaving her face uncovered.

  An ache stronger than pain crushed my heart, I had nothing. How could I hold the baby when Zoe never got to?

  Backing away from Deck, I shook my head.

  “Zoe didn’t get to, she never will know what it feels to hold her baby in her arms.”

  Walking backward, bumping into obstacles as I went, I left the room.

  Left my wife, left the life I lost and walked out.

  The ache turned into a pounding throb, the love once there replaced with despair and emptiness.

  Love just wasn’t worth the pain. Never again would I put myself in the firing line of losing someone ever again.

  Love hurts too much.

  Epilogue

  I tossed one white rose onto the coffin; drizzling rain accompanied the flowers descent into the deep hole.

  “A love like the one you and I shared only comes along once in a lifetime baby. No one will ever replace you in my heart. I promise to watch over Shiloh as if she were my own. Rest well Nymph, wait for me baby.”

  Looking up at my brother standing on the other side of the graveside, his club brothers milling around him holding umbrellas over him and baby Shiloh.

  Deck informed me by text message of the baby’s name late on the same night Zoe passed away.

  It was a pretty name, better than Farrah or Zena I conceded.

  Zoe and I never got around to discussing names, she insisted that she had to hold the baby and look into her eyes before she could start thinking of names.

  If she had anything in particular I would never know.

  He used Zoe’s name for the baby’s middle name and for that I was glad. She looked so much more like her dad, she would at least have that link to her mum.

  Shiloh spent a week in the hospital after her tragic entry into the world; we waited to have the funeral, so that Deck could be here with Shiloh. She was still being treated as an outpatient, but at least Deck got to take her home at night.

  I’ve visited the compound a few times since and finally got to cuddle my tiny niece. And she was tiny, so small in fact, Vegas took a photo of her laying in the palm of Darth’s hand. The picture was a stark reminder just how dangerously close we came to not having her at all. She weighed in at no more than five pounds, the reason she had to stay in the NICU for a week.

  Now her home was the Wounded Souls compound. I donated most of the nursery items, Zoe and I bought for her, to Deck. God knew he and the other men needed it.

  According to Deck, her arrival sparked excitement and a fair amount of anxiety for the big scary bikers. But from what I had already witnessed, the small infant had turned all of them into gushing puddles of goo — Darth especially I noted.

  The big prick never took his eyes off her, he was the first to take her, offer to change her nappy or walk her up and down the halls of the compound. Shiloh was suffering from colic in the worst way and holding her twenty-four-seven was the only cure.

  Shiloh Zoe Johnston was more than loved, she was worshipped.

  My parents stood next to Deck, their faces shattered just like everyone else gathered around the grave. Even Kelsey made it to the funeral, the angry red slash on her face stitched but I could see that she would be scared for the rest of her life.

  Her mother was in prison awaiting trial, not in the slightest bit sorry for her treatment of her daughter. The ring leader met his fate in the detention centre he had been held in, a brawl involving two rival gangs broke out, and he got caught in the crossfire.

  Happily, he received a shank to the kidneys and bleed out before help could arrive.

  The other two were in juvenile detention, no doubt they would only get a slap on the wrist and be out in a few months to a ye
ar.

  I will be waiting for that day, my work now all that I had.

  Sure, my niece was now a part of my life after my grief settled a little, allowing me to admit that I needed her presence to keep the memory of Zoe alive in my life and shattered heart. Shiloh was the only person I would allow in, love was not for me, not anymore.

  I worked long hours, longer than I had to, but I liked it that way, it kept my mind occupied. I didn’t take much more than a few days off after Zoe died, I needed the escape and being in the house we’d made our home together for more than sleep, didn’t appeal to me.

  I waited for the minister to finish the last prayer, then watched with an ache in my heart as people who loved my beautiful Nymph each tossed a handful of dirt on the coffin.

  “I will always be yours, never doubt that,” I promised quietly, then turned and walked around to where Deck stood.

  Reaching out I cupped Shiloh’s head, a pink camo beanie covering her dark raven hair.

  “Your mummy wanted you so badly sweet baby girl. Love you to the moon and back.” Pressing a kiss to her tiny cheek, I then nodded at Deck.

  “Can I have her tomorrow?”

  “Yeah, I will drop her off after her appointment,” he agreed, looking over at Darth and giving him a chin lift.

  Knowing that Darth would be parked outside my house tomorrow nearly brought a smile to my face. Little Shiloh was probably the only two-week-old with her own personal bodyguard, I thought absently.

  Nodding my thanks to Deck, I then hugged my mum and received an awkward pat on the shoulder from my dad.

  “Catch ya later wanker,” I muttered to my brother, receiving a similar response from him.

  “Tomorrow officer prick.”

  My relationship with my brother, dwindling back into the old familiar ways it used to be before Zoe came into my life and turned it upside down, inside out with her sass, her fierce loyalty and her unwavering love. No more promises to get along with Deck, no more family peace between brothers. No more reason to get along.

  Shiloh our only connection now.

  The only reason for me to get up every day to an empty house and an empty heart.

  THE END FOR NOW

  Part two, Love Heals up next.

  FROM LEAH

  I loved writing this book.

  I fell in love with Jason a long time ago and knew he had a story to tell.

  The first one being his love, his loss and his pain. This story was meant to be sad, how could it not be? But it is also a story of an unbreakable bond that stood the test of time.

  It was also something I needed to write to tell the story of the Johnston twins.

  Deck was not the romantic alpha he was in His Sweetness, that was Charlie’s influence on him. I hope I still showed a small side of him that gave you a glimpse of what was to come.

  And Darth, need I say anymore?

  Love Heals is the second book in this duet, it will take place after From the Inferno. Can you guess who will heal Jason’s shattered heart? No? I reckon you can.

  So many to thank so … Belinda, Robyn, Vegas, Amanda, Sara, Kylie, Zoe, Jamie, Iona, Sian, Savannah, Vicki, Charlotte, Holly, Becky, Sallie, Carrie, Lee Anna … so many more wonderful people, my reason for writing this story.

  Derek for being on the cover.

  Shanneen, I love you. You don’t take my shit, you let me steal from your swag and book supplies.

  My wonderful daughters, who listen to me plot and talk about my characters as if they are real.

  Handsome, my bestie. What would I do without you. Thank you for being … you. Xoxo

  Also by Leah Sharelle

  WOUNDED SOULS SERIES

  His Sweetness

  His Honey

  His Beauty

  His Lady

  His Angel

  His Man

  Her Prince

  FIREMEN DO IT BETTER

  Into the Fire

  Out of the Flames

  From the Inferno

  A LOVE DUET

  Love Hurts

  Connect with Leah Sharelle

  FACEBOOK

  www.facebook.com/authorleahsharelle/

  FACEBOOK SPOILERS GROUP

  www.facebook.com/groups/506305426446848/

  GOODREADS

  http://bit.ly/LSGoodreadsAuthor

  About the Author

  Leah Sharelle loves the idea of being in love. Since her early teens, when she first discovered Silhouette Desire novels, her life has been all about reading. She would find herself rewriting scenes if she wasn’t happy with them and then would hide them under her bed. That led her to writing love stories of her own. They all ended up under her bed and are still there—where she says they will stay.

  Leah is a mum of three beautiful girls, living in Australia, and she has what most say is a weird sense of humour. She spends her free time doing movies, Sons of Anarchy, and Friends marathons. And reading. She doesn’t do angst. In fact, it drives her crazy. She loves Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. There’s that weird humour.